Love of Allah by harun yahya

Misunderstandings about Love’s True Nature
They worship besides Allah something for which no authority has come down, something about which they have no knowledge. There is no helper for the wrongdoers. (Surat al-Hajj, 71)

People who do not follow the Qur’an’s morals have an incorrect understanding of love. No matter how much they believe that they are leading a life full of love and respect toward others, these interactions are, in general, based on inappropriate and misleading bases. We will now examine some of these below.

Idolatrous Love between a Man and a Woman

Examples of love based on idolatrous thinking are easily found in relationships between men and women. Some people channel their love and devotion toward other people who are, in essence, weak, instead of channeling it toward Allah. Sometimes, they make another person their life’s aim, mention their name whenever possible, and try to gain their love. This person will be the focus of their attention for the whole day. Or, they think about this person all night and thus cannot sleep. Instead of seeking Allah’s good pleasure, they will struggle to please only that particular person, even if this means that they have to do something that violates the Qur’an’s morals and the limits that Allah has established for humanity. They will make any sacrifice for that person, but exert no effort to gain Allah’s good pleasure. In other words, they transform the objects of their attention into little deities. This is why some romantic poems, writings, or even discussions claim that the author “worships” the object of his or her affection. Such an understanding of love, which associates others with Allah, is prohibited, for one’s love of Allah is a much stronger and superior type of love:
Remember Allah as you used to remember your forefathers—or even more. (Surat al-Baqara, 200)

If someone loves anything else, whether a person, a thing, or an idea, more than he or she loves Allah, he or she will fall into idolatry and draw near to Hell. Surprisingly, many people do not see the truth of this statement and so continue in their idolatry.
Obviously, loving other people, being concerned about their welfare, and lovingly protecting their families and relatives are admirable deeds and are blessings bestowed upon people by Allah. Such love, when it is based upon love for Allah, ensures that person will attain happiness in both worlds. If such love is not based upon love for Allah, the people will experience pain and agony in both worlds. Allah informs us that this second group of people will, in the Hereafter, try to ransom their way out of Hell by offering each other in payment:

An evildoer will wish he could ransom himself from the punishment of that Day by means of his sons, his wife, his brother, or his family who sheltered him, or everyone else on Earth, if that only meant that he could save himself. (Surat al-Ma‘arij, 11-14)

The Day a man will flee from his brother, his mother, his father, and his wife and children. On that Day, every man among them will have concerns enough of his own. (Surah ‘Abasa, 34-37)
We do not associate anything with Allah. That is how Allah has favored us and all of humanity, but most do not give thanks. (Surah Yusuf, 38)

Friendships Based on Self-Interest
Do not sell Allah’s contract for a paltry price. What is with Allah is better for you, if you only knew. (Surat an-Nahl, 95)
Some relationships, whether consciously or subconsciously, are based on self-interest. Some people, who feel an excitement when they meet a person whom they hope to benefit from, interpret this excitement as “love.” However, in truth it is no more than an “affected desire” for what that person has. In fact, such love often depends on the level of the “loved” person’s wealth and status. Wealth excites people, and thus the most excitement is felt towards the wealthiest person. As mentioned above, this type of excitement is nothing but an attachment to worldly interests. Rich people are not “loved” primarily for their morals and characteristics, and thus always seem to have many “friends” even if they are easily angered, rude, selfish, illogical, merciless, always looking for gain, insincere, or even thoughtless.

Some people want to be with those who entertain them: “A person who likes me should be able to make me laugh.” As a result, any resulting closeness is based on a deluded self-interest, for enjoying to be with a person who makes you laugh and feel happy is not the same as loving that person. However, because many people mistake the relief they feel for having gained something for love, they claim that they love that person very much.
You consider them united, but their hearts are scattered wide. That is because they are people who do not use their intellect. (Surat al-Hashr, 14)
Other people assume that being around good people will raise their esteem. As a result, they will select “good” people to befriend, considering their physical features such as height, the color of their eyes and hair. Often, such people can see only the other person’s physical beauty, not their intelligence, conscience, or characteristics.

They do not consider these aspects important because they claim that their love has “blinded” them. However, this “love” means “I love the esteem this person’s beauty earns me.” Apart from that person’s beauty, his or her spirit does not mean anything to them. Just because he or she is beautiful, many inappropriate and undesirable particularities such as being merciless, insensitive, or scornful may totally be ignored.

Another important type of self-interest is trying to secure one’s future by getting married. Many people fear living alone, being unable to support themselves, or of having no one to look after them when they are sick. Some people seek to abolish all such fears by getting married. For this reason, they attach themselves to the most promising person in this regard and convince themselves that they have fallen in “love.”

For the rest of their lives, they share their pains and complaints about their spouse with their neighbors and relatives. But when asked why they stay with that person, they claim to love them very much. However, the Qur’an and its value system say that love should expect nothing in return.

People should love other people sincerely, which involves personal sacrifice and
expecting nothing in return, for that person is a manifestation of Allah.

They should never backbite, but, as a result of this sincere love, should only speak well of them. They don’t obligatorily “tolerate” the others for they treat one another with compassion and mercy, cover up their misgivings, try to make them feel at ease, and respond to every need as best as they can. Sincere love, friendship and closeness are best demonstrated through these actions.

Short-Term, Temporal Love

Love that is not based on the Qur’an will inevitably be short-term in nature. For example, it is quite normal for people to dislike or feel upset with others when they realize that they cannot attain any benefit from that person.

Similarly, those whom you formerly claimed to love become people that you have to tolerate if they have experienced some misfortune or some physical problem. For example, you might no longer love a person if he or she somehow becomes disfigured by an accident or an illness. A “perfect” couple’s marriage might collapse overnight when one spouse becomes terminally ill, experiences some personal or professional disaster, or is no longer as beautiful or as rich as before. Sometimes, despite the spouse’s physical beauty or wealth, the couple divorces because they no longer “love” the other person after witnessing his or her weakness during the illness. Similarly, although they seemed to get along well in the days when they possessed wealth and riches, some people inevitably lose the love and closeness they used to feel towards each other when their respective wealth and riches is dwindled away.

You desire the goods of this world, whereas Allah desires the Hereafter. Allah is Almighty, All-Wise. (Surat al-Anfal, 67)

Allah expands and restricts provision to anyone He wills. They rejoice in the life of this world. Yet the life of this world, compared to the Hereafter, is only fleeting enjoyment. (Surat ar-Ra‘d, 26)

As for anyone who desires this fleeting existence, We hasten in it whatever We will to whoever We want. Then We will consign him to Hell, where he will roast, reviled and driven out. (Surat al-Isra’, 18)

In essence, true love should never diminish, but should only increase with the
passage of time. A person who values another person for his moral values finds
that her love for him will increase as his good characteristics become ever more
apparent.

Even if this same person is left crippled, broke, or physically repellant, her love for him does not diminish. These hardships may, in effect, increase a person’s modesty and maturity and thereby make him a better and more moral person. As a result, their love for each other only grows stronger. These hardships have no effect on true love because true love is based on the Qur’an’s morals and the desire to earn Allah’s good pleasure by obeying the limits that He has established for humanity.